9. You Know I Know

an elegie for Vlad

Like You Really Care  >  Really Wish I Could  >  Who Can Say?  >  My Father's Hat  >  Gordon Matta Clark  >  Mar y Cielo  >  Vibrations  >  This  >  You Know I Know  >  Who Can Blame Me?  >  Astray  >  Dear Mongolia  >  Mar y Cielo (reprise)

Here's the final version :

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This one goes back a ways. And, if my inability to keep it together in studio is any indication, it also goes deep as well. 

Vlad was my friend from the first day of architecture school. From Mexico City, with pronounced Mayan features, he famously kept a bottle of Tabasco at his desk for when he needed a little pick-me-up. We all spent a lot of time together in that studio but I found Vlad to be one of the few people that I had met up to that time to whom had felt a real fraternal bond. We appreciated each other, flaws and all.  

Without getting maudlin, this is a song about not holding up ones' end of the friendship contract. This is me trying to figure out what was going on after it's too late to know for sure. You fall in with other friends, you're in school, you disconnect. You miss the signs. Or ignore them. Mark, who had been there like a ref on the quad when Vlad took me down (barcardi 151 the partial culprit) was the one who called me in Rome to give me the news that Vlad had hung himself over Christmas break. I took a walk around and around the Circus Maximus.

This one wrote itself one morning while I was on a run. It was slated for the next project, Paradise Bound, but I thought it worked better here among the unrequited. 

We recorded Andrew's drums, and Jonathan Donaldson's guitar and bass back a ways at the school where Andrew taught. The dozens of vocal takes was done with Jon at Brick Hill. It is a testament to his gentle guidance that this song is, hopefully, not unbearably overwrought. 

Here's the demo, with Jonathan (on his four-track?) and me on accordion : 

Lyrics

The world was always trying to break him down

with sticks and stones and pavement but he would never cave in

no, he outwitted them all he dropped the ball and got off scot-free

He was always trying to fake me out

he'd drink himself half empty and then he'd get half angry

and then when we were eye to eye that's when he'd hit me with the hardest question:

Why do you look at me that way? You know i don't care what they say.

You know I know you know I know you know I know you inside and out.

I was always trying to make him out

to be the one who couldn't clearly make his intentions known 

nearly impossible to pin down, I still look around for some kind of clue

Why do you have to go away? You know i don't care what you say.

You know I know you know why I know you know I know you inside and out.

the world was always trying to smoke me out.

but he was just one fire until he got too tired

and then when we finally got the call, I knew it all before they could speak

 Why do you look at me that way? You know i don't care what you say.

You know I know you know I know you know I know you inside and out.

I wanna take you down I wanna break you down

I wanna make you choke on your own words

I wanna take you up I wanna take you up

I wanna take you up into my arms.

Words and music by Humberto Cordero

Humberto : piano, vocals

Jonathan Donaldson : bass, guitar

Andrew : drums

Aaron : guitar

Jim : guitar

Emily Wade Adams : background vocals 

Recorded by Jon Evans at Brick Hill Studio, Orleans Mass. 

Mastered by Coastal, Berkeley Cal.

LISTEN TO THE WHOLE ALBUM : : : AND NOW AVAILABLE ON iTunes, Spotify, Amazon, and all other music platforms.